Examples and surveys that Kyunghyang Shinmun introduced on Oct. 16 show family estrangement, in which adult children cut contact with parents, rising markedly in the West. Reasons range from abuse to differences in values, and experts say context matters more than blaming the times.
On Oct. 16 Kyunghyang Shinmun ran a feature on why more children are cutting ties with their parents. It drew mainly on reports by The Wall Street Journal and The Guardian, and we note first that the figures come from a survey of U.S. adults and do not directly describe Korea. We could not find reliable statistics on the scale of such estrangement in Korea in this reporting.
광고 문의 · 300×250One striking example was a conference held in Chicago this summer for parents estranged from their children. About 200 people attended in person and around 250 watched a livestream, and one participant came from Australia. Robin Brill, 60, who has not spoken to her 28-year-old son for three years, voiced what many parents there asked: why would their children do this?
What the survey shows
The YouGov survey cited covered 4,395 U.S. adults from July 24 to Aug. 1 last year. In it, 38% said they were currently estranged from a close relative (parent, child, sibling or grandparent), and 16% were estranged from a parent. Ten percent of parents said they were estranged from an adult child.
Answers about who ended contact first diverged. Among those estranged from a parent, 38% said they ended it and 20% said the parent did; among parents estranged from a child, 46% said the child did. On reasons, children cited controlling or manipulative behavior and physical, emotional or sexual abuse (34% each) and lies or betrayal (31%), while parents cited lies or betrayal (24%), differences in values or lifestyle (21%) and divorce-related conflict (20%).
That gap matters. Parents and children often remember the same events very differently, as in the case Herald Business described of a British parent, a former psychotherapist, whose recollection of family life differed sharply from her children’s. It is hard to judge right and wrong from either side’s story alone.
Cultural change and expert views
Experts point to a shift in the social climate. William Doherty, professor emeritus at the University of Minnesota and a family therapist, said estrangement, once taboo, has reached a cultural tipping point where it is accepted as self-protection. Lynn Reczek, a sociologist at Ohio State University, argued that the meaning of family is moving from blood-based duty toward mutual respect, emotional security and the quality of the relationship.
Social media is also cited. On TikTok and Instagram, ‘no contact’ stories and tips on setting boundaries are spreading. Some experts see distance as a protection in cases of abuse and other serious problems, but worry that short videos can lead people to read ordinary conflict as abuse and to misuse psychological terms. ‘Low contact’, which reduces the frequency and length of contact without cutting it off, is offered as a middle path.
The implications for Korean readers are considerable. As an aging society raises the burden of supporting and caring for parents, the traditional norm of filial duty is colliding with a stress on individual emotional independence. This is our own interpretation, not a conclusion proven by Korean surveys. The common advice from experts is that, for parents and children alike, trying to understand the other side and, where needed, seeking professional counseling can be the starting point for repairing a relationship.
